The word designing, like website designing, logo designing, HTML5 designing, etc, makes me sick

 

Indeed, the whole marketing buzzword thing makes me gag. I've been a few big meetings this year alongside companies that love to drop in jargon wherever they can. Cringe.

 

http://www.netmagazine.com/features/net-strip-11-it-gets-conversions

 

So a bunch of spammers have decided to email our clients to see if they need SEO and web services. Basically, I've spent this morning replying to clients that are concerned over an automated email. Who exactly do I invoice for this time wasting?

 

Ah. That could be a mailshot I sent out earliern. Just kidding. The only way they work is for stirring up stuff with existing designers/developers or genuinely a disgruntled client looking to update their site after the original 'designer' has fled.

 

I think they are just saying HTML5 Designing as a way to implement HTML5 like it was some magic pill. Emails using buzzwords aren't going to entice them, just confuse them and get irate at the company they hired (clients generally don't give a f*** about what you're using and as long as it meets their criteria. There are always exceptions of course).

 

I give free consultation to website owners even if there isn't a chance of work, but jumping straight in with a generic "Dear Sir or Madman" (spelling intentional based on the hacks that write them).

 

I think I just suceeded in absorbing your rant. Gggrrrrr...

Edited July 1, 201313 yr by 4li4s
Didn't realise I reposted the quote underneath

It reminds me of rogue traders. They come round, promise to fix everything, leave you with no money, implement a shoddy unfinished job, and bugger off for someone else to pick up the pieces.

 

The sad thing is that people actually fall for this stuff.

The funny thing is I've already mentioned this to clients, however they appear to only be concerned about it now that a spammer has got in touch.

 

This is sooooo true it's unbelivable, have you been talking to my clients

The **** a client will pay for; so long as it's not the idea of their tried and tested designer, no no it must be an engrish cold call email for them to spend *sigh*

This is sooooo true it's unbelivable, have you been talking to my clients

The **** a client will pay for; so long as it's not the idea of their tried and tested designer, no no it must be an engrish cold call email for them to spend *sigh*

 

I find it funny how these 'experts' don't even put their website address in the email.

This is sooooo true it's unbelivable, have you been talking to my clients

The **** a client will pay for; so long as it's not the idea of their tried and tested designer, no no it must be an engrish cold call email for them to spend *sigh*

 

It's weird isn't it? I guess it's similar with other professions - Halfrauds says they hear a rattling in person A's car and suggest that it's your dump valve in the boot (clearly not knowing about cars). Rather than consult the regular trusted mechanic, Person A listens to the charlatans and pay for something that doesn't need doing.

 

Like the Engrish link - used to encounter that on a regular basis. Our local restaurant had a large sign on the table saying NO SUMO KING (no smoking). Always made me laugh. Even if it was discriminating to people with glandular issues...

 

 

I find it funny how these 'experts' don't even put their website address in the email.

 

What? That's just odd. How are they supposed to be contacted? Meet in the park at 2pm with ze microfilme? Bloody idiots. I had one once when I wrote a drunken post about pachyderms. I had an email from someone saying they could get me to the first page of Google as they've had success with other pachyderm sites. I should have kept the email. It was funny because despite the keywords, it was relatively well written (not that I had my red pen out...)

Our local restaurant had a large sign on the table saying NO SUMO KING (no smoking). Always made me laugh. Even if it was discriminating to people with glandular issues...

Nice, my local kebab shop has 'Chicken Boner' and a 'Hum and Mushroom' pizza

Nice, my local kebab shop has 'Chicken Boner'

 

I wonder if anyone ever asked for one?!

Nice, my local kebab shop has 'Chicken Boner' and a 'Hum and Mushroom' pizza

 

That's excellent I'd share some more but a lot to similar ones on the Engrish site. I have a photo somewhere of this place that had 'Man's Sauce'. On the label was a man in a hard hat doing a kind or Mr Universe post with the typeface in a liquid form by his special purpose area.

[Q] Would you rather eat broken glass, or use Worldpay as a payment provider?

[A] The glass thing.

[Q] Would you rather eat broken glass, or use Worldpay as a payment provider?

[A] The glass thing.

 

:D Never have dealt with Worldpay and seeing your post not sure if I want to.

 

Monday moan: I have never thought in a million years I would say that, but it's so hot, I can't think!!! Brain is mush!

Monday moan: I have never thought in a million years I would say that, but it's so hot, I can't think!!! Brain is mush!

 

Been working in the sun all day! ;D

Well, much better than rain, so very welcome change Although I find it difficult to concentrate today

[Q] Would you rather eat broken glass, or use Worldpay as a payment provider?

[A] The glass thing.

 

[Q] How long does it take to create a WorldPay account?

[1] 10 Minutes

[2] 10 Weeks

[3] 10 Months

[4] 10 Lifetimes

 

[Q] How long does it take to create a WorldPay account?

[1] 10 Minutes

[2] 10 Weeks

[3] 10 Months

[4] 10 Lifetimes

 

One of our clients has forgotten their email, username and account number. This makes resetting their password near enough impossible.

 

But it's my job to get it working apparently... Yay.

One of our clients has forgotten their email, username and account number. This makes resetting their password near enough impossible.

 

But it's my job to get it working apparently... Yay.

 

Hey I had the same thing yesterday!

Client needed to move domain over to TSO, couldn't remember username or password (or even the link to the login page), then we found out the company who she registered her domain with has collapsed and doesn't exist!

 

Sorted it in the end ;D

I just spoke to what I imagine is some kind of leprechaun / pixie thing on the phone.

 

Apparently it's possible, but the client has to send a written letter from the registered address or something. That's fine, accept the client can't even be arsed to send an email, let alone write a letter and post it.

I just spoke to what I imagine is some kind of leprechaun / pixie thing on the phone.

 

Apparently it's possible, but the client has to send a written letter from the registered address or something. That's fine, accept the client can't even be arsed to send an email, let alone write a letter and post it.

That client sounds fantastic aha, how can they not even remember their e-mail?!

 

In limbo at the moment, the routers playing up while me and the team are getting ready to play some command and conquer, LAN party's at work kick ass, when it works...

So, my boss is away I thought I'd redesign our site because it looks crap. In theory this is a good idea, but the feedback I've been getting off everyone is ridiculous. I mean seriously, their monitors aren't even calibrated so the colours are always off.

Apparently I should change the font from Gotham & Whitney to Impact, I mean seriously?

 

Apparently I should change the font from Gotham & Whitney to Impact, I mean seriously?

 

No way!

No way!

 

Yeh, I'm loosing my mind.

 

It seems like their thinking of things to change for the sake of finding faults. I've done like 14 revisions over the last 3 days.

So, my boss is away I thought I'd redesign our site because it looks crap. In theory this is a good idea, but the feedback I've been getting off everyone is ridiculous. I mean seriously, their monitors aren't even calibrated so the colours are always off.

 

Apparently I should change the font from Gotham & Whitney to Impact, I mean seriously?

 

Genuinely? Gotham to Impact? That's insanity in itself. Is the site currently responsive? That would be a barrel of fun if you had to do that as well...

Nah I'm rebuilding it because it's not responsive. Basically I had all this planned for the week:

 

• Redesign
• Rebuild in a new CMS
• Re-write the copy
• Launch

I haven't finished the design yet.

Apparently I should change the font from Gotham & Whitney to Impact, I mean seriously?

 

I have been trying to finish a 2 week project started months ago. Delay has been 100% client. I have built them a site with a light CMS for controlling 4 pages where the content will need to be kept up to date. I then get an email with a few questions.

 

The X page looks a bit bleak. How can we list X on this page and update remotely?

How do we add content to X page? Can this be done remotely?

 

The list went on despite the fact I have sent their login at least 5 times and a PDF with instructions. To top all this off I can see the client has used the cms to make changes to one of the 4 pages! There are only 4 main buttons in the cms, each clearly labelled with "Edit Name of Page"!

 

They wanted a full cms like Wordpress but thank God I talked them down to cms light (simple add, edit delete), can you imagine this type of client let loose with Wordpress and the amount of help emails I would get?

 

Graaaagh!

I know that feeling.

 

Just wait until they email you asking to install a new printer in their office.

Sounds horrible BrowserBugs. My philosophy has always been to deliver to them the site you both agreed on, and if they want more (i.e. a more comprehensive CMS), make them pay for it.

Good call on not going for a full CMS. Are you able to see the clients in person? I find that print supplements help out the less savvy with getting up and running, but you've already sent a PDF. They really don't have a clue sometimes - defeats the point of a CMS sometimes, they need someone to hold their hand.

 

Good luck with it - hope you can turn it around soon rather than a few more months.

Sounds horrible BrowserBugs. My philosophy has always been to deliver to them the site you both agreed on, and if they want more (i.e. a more comprehensive CMS), make them pay for it.

 

The site is perfect to the agreed specification. I think they have swallowed a few internet buzz words not really understanding what they mean, correct me if I'm wrong but the whole internet is 'remote'? I was just lost for words as to how to explain it does exactly what he's asking and agreed to and yet cannot fathom what he owns. More puzzling is the fact he has been updating one of the 4 sections fine so I know he's in and editing. I went for diplomatic yet simple;

 

"Just to clarify that your content management system (CMS) where you login is accessed ‘remotely’. Once logged in you can ‘update’ the information on the W, X, Y and Z pages via adding, editing and deleting items in these sections. I see you have updated X which is great, so to edit Y you click the button that says ‘Edit Y’"

 

Now if that isn't clear enough shoot me, I give up. Well Darwin is wrong, there's no evolution here!

 

@4li4s No more meetings, already had three as they love meetings yet fail to deliver what we discuss they need to do, a waste of time imo.

Woooohoooo latest update they can be taught! Imagine my surprise to find content ... nearly there now ... might need a rubber room after this project though.

@BrowserBugs don't remind me, I have to write a WP theme manual for a similar type of client soon :D Can't wait (not)!

Plagiarism. Got hit on something today. Some jumped up so and so decided to steal my thunder and take credit for some work I did. Granted, I'm used to doing some work under pseudonyms or white label types but I also get paid. I'm not one for ego, but some people clearly like to get in on the action. Has anyone else got stung on this in the past? I know of a designer who changed his stylesheets to make everything pink with cats (not such a bad thing for you cat lovers I guess) as someone directly ripped the whole of his site as is, but just changed the obvious header tags and images. You can only copyright so much, eh?

 

Moan, Grumble, Whinge...

Hahaha a buddy of mine used a overseas developer and said he needed something a bit like a certain famous brand - he got what he paid for, their logo, contact details, the whole shooting match

Plagiarism. Got hit on something today. Some jumped up so and so decided to steal my thunder and take credit for some work I did. Granted, I'm used to doing some work under pseudonyms or white label types but I also get paid. I'm not one for ego, but some people clearly like to get in on the action. Has anyone else got stung on this in the past? I know of a designer who changed his stylesheets to make everything pink with cats (not such a bad thing for you cat lovers I guess) as someone directly ripped the whole of his site as is, but just changed the obvious header tags and images. You can only copyright so much, eh?

 

Moan, Grumble, Whinge...

 

The best way to combat that is to talk the guy up to management, sing his praises and push them to give him more jobs demanding high standard. Then when he can't deliver, because he just rips your work, he'll be shown for who he is. Muahaha.

Plagiarism. Got hit on something today. Some jumped up so and so decided to steal my thunder and take credit for some work I did. Granted, I'm used to doing some work under pseudonyms or white label types but I also get paid. I'm not one for ego, but some people clearly like to get in on the action. Has anyone else got stung on this in the past? I know of a designer who changed his stylesheets to make everything pink with cats (not such a bad thing for you cat lovers I guess) as someone directly ripped the whole of his site as is, but just changed the obvious header tags and images. You can only copyright so much, eh?

 

Moan, Grumble, Whinge...

 

Have you ever seen this?

 

Brilliantly handled.

I have had once my previous site stolen, copied the exact design, images, text, everything. My logo was replaced by an image made in MS Paint (or looking like it). Great fun

 

The best way to combat that is to talk the guy up to management, sing his praises and push them to give him more jobs demanding high standard. Then when he can't deliver, because he just rips your work, he'll be shown for who he is. Muahaha.

 

Good call - I've done this before in the past with people taking credit for a colleague of mine many moons ago and it worked just like that. With this case however, the person in question has nothing to do with design however. I did some illustrations that they palmed off as their own (they told me themselves in error). The idea was to get some extra pocket money doing commission work, but the company (whom I have no immediate links with) knows nothing about me. I wouldn't be surprised if they had put their name on it.

 

 

Have you ever seen this?

I didn't look at the url but as soon as I heard him, thought it was Jeremy Keith. I love the guys response that they used to use orange, but it's didn't look good with white.

 

 

 

I have had once my previous site stolen, copied the exact design, images, text, everything. My logo was replaced by an image made in MS Paint (or looking like it). Great fun

 

Did you follow up on it?

 

Did you follow up on it?

 

I got in touch with the domain owner and asked him to remove the site (or change the design) and surprisingly he did straightaway

I got in touch with the domain owner and asked him to remove the site (or change the design) and surprisingly he did straightaway

 

Result!

So, I didn't get the job I was on about lately. Apparently it came down to me and another bloke, out of 16 applications, and after careful consideration and whatnot he chose the other bloke, naturally. I'm not here to dwell on that, I'm here to moan and maybe learn something new about recruitment agencies.

 

I've applied for around two dozen jobs over the past two months in web development, all of which I'm capable/qualified to do. All but one have been posted by recruitment agencies, and funnily enough, it was the one and only one posted by the actual company that gave me an interview and short-listed me. So this leads me to believe, am I somehow doing something wrong when applying for jobs posted by agencies?

 

Here's one of my searches: http://www.reed.co.uk/jobs/norfolk?keywords=front%20end%20web%20developer&sortby=DisplayDate - I've narrowed it down to "front end" jobs just so you don't have to scan through loads. Like I said, I've applied for loads of jobs exactly like these, posted by agencies, and heard nothing; I apply for one job posted by the company themselves and almost get the job after an interview. Coincidence?

 

I'd like to contact the companies advertising directly, but no details are given. This is also the case with Monster, TotalJobs etc. Any tips?

 

Oh, just to coincide with the topic theme, grrrrr, mumble grumble, humbug, stupid agencies, stupid employers, grrr.