[BlueDreamer]

I got an email from an "SEO" company this morning, a typical email touting for work. This person announced they were a "senior search consultant", here's a few highlights...

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After checking the search engines, I ran a back-link check on your site. Back-links are the number of times your site is linked through another website. Your website has 130 back-links, meaning it's not very popular.

Since when has the number of "backlinks" solely been a sign of popularity? So I have 130 backlinks, so what, I don't want my URL everywhere!

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Right now your site has a Google Pagerank score of 4/10, which is probably one of the main reasons why your site isn’t showing up in the first page of the search results.

My site has PR4. Hysterical! My pages come up all over the show depending what's searched for, I have many 1st page results on google.co.uk including goodies like "jshop" and "expressionengine" which are the two I primarily target.

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The final check I applied on your site was page indexing. The more pages your site has indexed with good content and unique keywords, the higher you will rank. Right now, your site has only 200 pages indexed by Google, which is quite low. This can be down to many reasons which our service can help resolve.

Doesn't he realise that I decide the number of pages my site has. I manage just fine without adding any more.

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I’m going somewhere with all this... I wanted to do my homework and research your website because I wanted to show you that I have applied some research in to your website before contacting you with my proposal. We are in the business of doing three things for your website:

Here we go, carry on laughing...

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1) Diagnosing and fixing all issues with your website

Cheeky git! He clearly didn't look at my content and source code, it works fine for me.

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2) Ranking your site to the top of the search results, and

More bullcrap (as we all know you can't guarantee this). Despite that I might not want to be on top every time, I get decent enough serch results for what I want to be found for.

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2) Significantly increasing your online revenue levels.

Yeah right, I have too much work coming in as it is.

And the icing on the cake, this companies home page has all its text in HTML headings

[Helen]

what a nob!

Did you email him back offering his "company" a redesign because it's shite?

[BlueDreamer]

Funnily enough I did reply asking how my site can have PR - no answer yet, I wonder why!

[notbanksy]

What a cock - you should tell him to eff off - in fact, you should name and shame him right here! That'll learn him

[Helen]

ooo yeh! name and shame! name and shame!

[BlueDreamer]

the web clinic .co .uk
- all one word (no point in giving out a precious "backlink")

oooh!

[Helen]

awwww it's down! what a shame

[John LA]

Helen, on 05 September 2009 - 02:50 PM, said:

awwww it's down! what a shame

You can always hire freelancers from freelancing sites if you wish for good rankings and not dealing with fraud. You are just literally burning you money if you do so.

[ReaperWD]

John LA, on 05 September 2009 - 10:45 PM, said:

You can always hire freelancers from freelancing sites if you wish for good rankings and not dealing with fraud. You are just literally burning you money if you do so.

I think they were asking more to take the mick, rather than actuallly wanting to hire the services.

I may have to hire bluedreamer to increase my clientbase, if he has too much - he must be doing something right

Reaper

[gentlefoot]

It annoys me too and these types of idiots are making it much harder for good optimisers to close deals and maintain prices.

[ReaperWD]

Yes, i agree with you. We are in the same thing, hence we offer a "no targets hit, no money taken" for our customers, but it still is hard for us to convince them to hire us.

Reaper

[bermuda]

Most of such email links and advertisements are simply to be ignored because the professional SEO companies are not using spam letters for promoting their services.

[BlueDreamer]

^ Most of the ones I get are filtered out by my spam filter already, but this particular one just caught my eye because it had a high density of bullcrap