[wizely]

Wizely's Twitster Challenge

Here's a writing challenge that won't take long and will help your pitches. Just having a go will make you think and help out - let alone feedback you'll get. So what's the shiz (I'm so street!) - there's only one rule and one twist:

Sell your services in 140 words or less (a la Twitter)

So where's the twist? Well... you're not allowed to use the word you would normally use to describe yourself - so if you're a designer you can't use 'design', 'designer', 'designing', 'designed' etc., a developer can't use 'develop', 'developer', 'developed' etc. - you get the idea.

What's the point? You need to quickly grab and maintain a potential client's attention, you need to be original (so I've banned you from using your 'comfort' word), you need to communicate concisely, clearly - yet with personality and actively SELL.

Can you do it?

[terydinho]

Brilliant thread Wizely

I will deffo have a go at this tonight at some point. I have a degree in Advertising so thinking outside of the box should come quite naturally to me... we'll see!! haha

[bocaj]

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From killer tee's to tested web solutions, Need a business card? No Problem. Need a gig poster for your venue? We feel that. Need a flash website you can update yourself? Bring it.

That's not mine, jacked off a site (not sure it's under 140 either?), just wanted to know what your thoughts on that was, i thought it was pretty good (but then again, if you've noticed my literacy skills, a second opinion on everything's probably a good idea )

P.S Does white space count as a character? I'm not a twitter user.

[wizely]

terydinho, on Mar 18 2009, 17:24, said:

Brilliant thread Wizely

I will deffo have a go at this tonight at some point. I have a degree in Advertising so thinking outside of the box should come quite naturally to me... we'll see!! haha

Thank you and good luck - you should sail it!

bocaj, on Mar 18 2009, 17:27, said:

That's not mine, jacked off a site (not sure it's under 140 either?), just wanted to know what your thoughts on that was, i thought it was pretty good (but then again, if you've noticed my literacy skills, a second opinion on everything's probably a good idea )

If it's for the audience it appears to be for then it's pretty good - there's a psychological trick about asking three short questions in quick succession that draws people in, there's plenty of personality, it's more direct, more like a natural conversation, it says what they do without blandly listing and it's focused on the client.
Can it be improved? Sure... it's still a little to self-focused, doesn't hit a benefit or an underlying motivator - but it's not bad!

[Guezala]

And we post them on here then? GULP I should have a go but bit poop at this sort of thing. Will you be gentle with me?

[tigerlabs]

Interesting idea wizely.

[wizely]

Guezala, on Mar 18 2009, 18:18, said:

And we post them on here then? GULP I should have a go but bit poop at this sort of thing. Will you be gentle with me?

If you're nervous then just PM me and I'll help you out - I really wouldn't be shy though - everyone here is friendly and warm like little fluffy kittens and equally as literate!!! JOKE!

[terydinho]

ok - i've got 3

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What do your potential customers think when they look at your website? Is it bland? Boring? Missing the point? For 'knock your socks off impact' on your site contact Terydinho at website.com

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Websites are complex. It is easy to get lost in the look and feel of the site. What you need to remember is that you want your website to get you results and the only way that is going to happen is with website.com - contact terydinho for more info

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Here is a little fact for you: If people like the look of your website they are 72% more likely to make the purchase regardless of price. That is what terydinho.com deals with... the facts that will get you the results you want.

Thoughts Wizely?

[IanC]

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BANG! - If we got you're attention with just one word, imagine what we could do with a whole website.

[ErisDS]

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Want to up your ante? Need more bells and whistles? Desperate for a tailored solution? Inform, promote or sell it your way with #####.com

this is scary

[IanC]

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If you want to talk to your customers, talk to us first!

[bocaj]

Haha, i'm so gonna suck at this.

One off the top of my head for now, and then i'll jot some notes down over the course of tonite, see if i can get anything. This was a good idea wizely, hats off to you, copy writing is something i really want to read up on, i'd never ever do it as a service, but you can never know too much about anything

Also what's your general process of coming up with a copy, i have to refine each paragraph like a hundred times, and then it's just lacks personality. It becomes mundayne, and monotone (although the woman off Gavin and Stacey, the one who's really monotone, you just gotta love how she pulls that off ).

Ok here's my first crack.

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Got a problem? Share it! We'll turn your problems into opportunities you never knew existed.

And that was a bit of a beat around the bush bs that i've become so accustomed to writing

The British education system, does wonders again .

[wizely]

OK... any suggestions I make are in the spirit of learning, constructive criticism and to discuss various copywriting aspects - in other words I'm going to be picking-up on the slightest thing!

Quote

What do your potential customers think when they look at your website? Is it bland? Boring? Missing the point? For 'knock your socks off impact' on your site contact Terydinho at website.com

I like this one a lot. Good style and you didn't forget to put a call to action in and who you were! It's catchy too.
But you can make it punchier and more effective by eliminating some passivity:
"Is your website bland? Boring? Missing the point? For 'knock your socks off impact' on your site contact Terydinho at website.com"
The repeated question thingy (technical term) works best when they're as short as possible - it also sounds less like a suggestion and more like an order which plants a psychological seed of doubt where people believe that you're telling them an answer even though you're asking a question - make sense?

Quote

Websites are complex. It is easy to get lost in the look and feel of the site. What you need to remember is that you want your website to get yous results and the only way that is going to happen is with website.com - contact terydinho for more info

This one's too passive and has no rhythm or punch like the first one did - all those 'little words' get in the way and make it hard to take in - no psychological effects going on. Plus a typo! It's more like a second or third paragraph - not a stand-alone attention grabber.

Quote

Here is a little fact for you: If people like the look of your website they are 72% more likely to make the purchase regardless of price. That is what terydinho.com deals with... the facts that will get you the results you want.

This one I'd get the 72% fact as close to the start as possible - hopefully as a header (I didn't say it had to be a paragraph now did I?). But I'll leave you to play with that!

In all 3 your messages are great and they come from 3 different angles which is all good stuff.

I'll get to the others soon I promise just busy, busy and it's good to let others give feedback.

bocaj, on Mar 18 2009, 19:34, said:

Also what's your general process of coming up with a copy, i have to refine each paragraph like a hundred times, and then it's just lacks personality. It becomes mundayne, and monotone (although the woman off Gavin and Stacey, the one who's really monotone, you just gotta love how she pulls that off ).

Now there's a new thread to start right there!

[1christopher]

Sell more. Do more. Be more. Get oodles of new customers with a brand new site from Vibrant Colour.

or is that still using comfort words?

[IanC]

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8 out of 10 cats...
... still use Internet Explorer 6, so we make sure all our websites are cross-browser compatible.

[bocaj]

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Pick me or i'll eat you *insert picture of salt and pepper*

I'ma do a proper think now, sorry it's all the excitement

[IanC]

One for the SEO market, courtesy of Brian Clough...

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You might not be the best, but we will guarantee you are in the top one!

Thinking about it, it might not be the greatest idea to tell a potential client they aren't the best, especially if they're fond of a bit of ego-massage to get the cheque book out. Probably depends if they know the original quote and context I guess.

Maybe in a speech bubble with a picture of 'Old Big Mouth' perhaps, and the new film coming out any day....

[IanC]

IanC, on Mar 18 2009, 20:27, said:

You might be the best, but we guarantee you will be in the top one!

Maybe that might solve it - more positive, less of a direct reference.

[IanC]

IanC, on Mar 18 2009, 20:27, said:

You might be the best, but we guarantee you will be in the top one!

Maybe that might solve it - more positive, less of a direct reference.

[MolotovRuss]

I just tried to jump straight in and start, but without the word 'design' Im screwed! I do hate using it so much, but I guess I have to?

[skidz]

HAVE ME CREATE YOUR WEBSITE AND I'LL SEND YOU A POLISH HOOKER

[bocaj]

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HAVE ME CREATE YOUR WEBSITE AND I'LL SEND YOU A POLISH HOOKER

Buy your first website from me, and receive the clap absolutely free*

*clap removal cost's $99.99 for the first three months, $149.99 thereafter, minimum contract applies

[wizely]

MolotovRuss, on Mar 24 2009, 15:48, said:

I just tried to jump straight in and start, but without the word 'design' Im screwed! I do hate using it so much, but I guess I have to?

You don't have to do anything you don't want! What I'm aiming at here is to get you think about expressing what your offering GIVES people (aka benefits) and not what your offering IS (aka waffle!). By banning the word 'design' you've got to tell me what it is you'll actually do for my business, not how.

Of course, throw in a Polish hooker and the clap and you're halfway there!

Anyone who doesn't give this a go (and hasn't hired me already!) has no right whatsoever to ask questions on getting more business, marketing, how to improve their site or moan at their lack of clients!!!!

Right, now if you'll excuse me, I'm writing some sexy web copy for a designer that gets all this and has thought really hard about his business, what differentiates him, how clients benefit, how to create a strong/ coherent offering, who to target, what his philosophy is and why it matters...

You've all done that eh?!!!

[skidz]

Wizely: I've read on the forum your the man in the know when it comes to copywriting... Do you have a standard charge out rate?

[wizely]

skidz, on Mar 24 2009, 16:15, said:

Wizely: I've read on the forum your the man in the know when it comes to copywriting... Do you have a standard charge out rate?

Just like in web design my rates depend on the work - it depends how much research I need to do, if there's existing copy (and the state of it!), how big the job is, how much SEO, if it's web copy, ad copy, blog writing, an article etc. etc.
It's near-impossible to give a meaningful quote without knowing the basic details - if you've got something in mind just PM me.
I will tell you that it's the best investment you'd make all year and, pound-for-pound, will get you more clients than anything else out there!

Some folks around here might be able to attest to how bloomin' reasonable my rates are and how much you get for so little?

[skidz]

I've just started a project that should be ready for content in about a month... I'll be in contact then

[IanC]

wizely, on Mar 24 2009, 16:07, said:

Of course, throw in a Polish hooker and the clap and you're halfway there!

Throw in a course of strong antibiotics too and you're all the way there!

[skidz]

http://www.webdesignerdepot.com/2009/03/50...-introductions/

Just found the above and thought it to be quite relevant

[wizely]

skidz, on Mar 25 2009, 09:48, said:

Just found the above and thought it to be quite relevant

Nice find! Although there's a bit of a mixed bag in there - some really stand out with an imaginative and creative intro and some fall into the corporate waffle or me, me, me approach. I know you guys can trump these!

[skidz]

I really liked "simplicity is the new sophistication"

[Helen]

Some good 'uns in there

<offtopic>
wonder where this guy got his inspiration from?----> fredriksoerlie.com/oslo-damekor-2/
</offtopic>

[wizely]

Ian:

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BANG! - If we got you're attention with just one word, imagine what we could do with a whole website.

I like the angle and there's nothing wrong with it, but I wouldn't be a copywriter if I couldn't think of something else to try now would I?!!!

Now, this is just a quick thought and to give you an idea... What I don't like about the 'BANG!' is it's a cheap trick, does one job (get attention) which is bad in a small space, sets your brand up as gimmicky and cheap, doesn't get the reader thinking about a real problem and so doesn't get their mind looking for an answer.
But the imagine construct is great as a subconscious order - I'd just change the passive/ weak 'could' with a more convincing 'will. I'd also take the comma out (you don't want the reader to pause) and add an ellipsis at the end so you've got:

BIG STATEMENT
<pause>
Fast-paced message leading right out through the door...

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YOU'RE MISSING CUSTOMERS!
If these 3 words got your attention imagine what we will do with a whole website...

Just thoughts... can do better given time.

[Skateside]

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oh hai. i can makes u website. will be cool. i can has email? kthxbye

...I'm not going to admit how much I've had to drink

[MikeChipshop]

"I'm crap but i'm cheap i ams "

... No?



tehe